Yoram Yasur Izz: How to let go, forgive and feel good
Forgiving someone who has hurt us has health benefits, both physically and emotionally. Instead of holding grudges, which only generate depression and stress over the years, forgiveness therapy helps us heal deep wounds and move forward in life.
- Benefits of forgiveness
Yoram Yasur Izz: Various studies on forgiveness as an objective of psychotherapy or conversation therapy published in the Journal of Consultancy and Clinical Psychology showed how forgiveness had helped those who had suffered humiliations, betrayals or various traumatic injuries. Forgiveness therapy decreases anxiety and depression, increases hope for the future; the ideal is to practice it individually and for a prolonged period of time, since in this way better results are obtained.
- Forgiveness therapy
Yoram Yasur Izz: Therapy of forgiveness has been used since 1980, and has been adapted to various common psychotherapies as long as certain basic requirements are included:
Be able to remember the experience that hurts in a safe and supportive environment.
- Be willing to feel empathy for who hurt us.
- Make a commitment in the process of forgiveness.
- Forgiving does not mean condoning or forgetting the offense, but rather tries to accept what happened and move on. Feeling empathy for who harmed us may mean understanding why a person acted wrong with us; In some cases, just feel sad for that person.
This therapy of forgiveness is useful in many cases: sexual abuse, loss of a loved one, infidelity, even financial losses. The only limit is the lack of willingness to forgive or certain diseases that interfere with the therapy substance abuse. The good thing is that it focuses on the benefits of forgiveness: the act of doing so is usually private, even the person to forgive never knows about this fact.
- Tips to forgive
Yoram Yasur Izz: Research shows that the act of forgiving has benefits for health: the body responds to forgiveness, decreases depression and anxiety, hopes to grow in the future and relationships with others improve markedly. Some tips to practice forgiveness without needing to go to therapy are:
- You do not need a therapist, you can talk and do the process alone, it will help tell someone you trust a family or friend.
- Write what hurts you in a letter as a physical form of commitment. Burning that letter is a representation of forgiveness.
- To encourage empathy, write a letter to yourself as if you were the person who hurt you, trying to explain the reasons for that offense.
- If you are obsessed with a hurtful act, say out loud that you need to stop. Then, change your thoughts for something more relaxing, constructive or inspiring.
- One of the most important points to learn is that to forgive is not to be weak.
As Gandhi said, “the weak can never forgive, forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” Therefore, carrying out a forgiveness therapy can be good for your health. Today is a good time to start.